No love loss

first_img“Sex without love”, Woody Allen said, “is a meaningless experience; but as meaningless experiences go it’s a pretty good one.” University is an excellent place to test this theory out. After a few years sampling the delights of encounter sex, most people will agree that love deepens sexual experience, but, as they have also sadly discovered, it can just as easily deaden it. At our age, lust invariably precedes love; so those fresh experiences with a new someone (who turns into an old someone) can be mind-blowing. A couple of years down the line they’re likely to be less so. The sex deteriorates precisely because you love them: you love them enough to spend oodles of time together, to spend Sunday mornings reading the paper – or, if you’re a particularly boring couple – shopping for furniture at MFI. And it’s this love that kills lust. Everyone knows that sexual experience is as much in the brain as any other part of the body. It’s the meaning you place on the sexual act that heightens the pleasure of it. That’s why public sex, unfaithful sex and first-time sex can be the most exciting kind of nookie. We tell ourselves it’s dangerous, forbidden, new, and we want it all the more. The same equation applies to whoever you’re having this sex with. The guy or gal you’ve been sleeping next to for the past couple of years is the same one who used to be untouched, uncharted territory: the one you secretly watched at parties. A couple of years later and the touching has subdued to a dull tingle. Conventional wisdom says that time nullifies lust – the longer you’re with someone the less often you get the urge to shag them senseless against the kitchen table. But it’s not time, it’s your mind. Time allows you to fall in love, falling in love allows you to feel comfortable, and comfort soon equals boredom. But when this happens fear not – you don’t need to resort to sex toys, threesomes or S&M (unless that’s your thing) – you only have to rethink your attitude to your lover. Forget that he farts in bed, remember how he sexy he looked the first time you spied him across a smoke-filled bar. Suddenly your hormones will be in overdrive and you’ll throw him on the floor and do things together that’ll make Cosner and Sarandon look like amateurs. Remember, it’s not who you’re doing, it’s how you’re doing it. A friend of mine said the most erotic experience she’d had was when a man ran his finger down her spine. The man was Jack Nicholson and the place Harvey Nichols, where she worked as a sales assistant. Now, I know he’s supposed to be sexy but I doubt that Jack Nicholson’s fingers are different from those of any mortal man. The spinetingling was only more intense because of the significance attached to the tingler. So if you need to spice up your sex-life, you don’t need to bed Jack Nicholson, you only have to pretend that your boyfriend is Jack Nicholson.ARCHIVE: 3rd week TT 2004last_img read more

Parade of Emotions Follows Eagles Historic Run

first_imgEagles head coach Doug Pederson holds the Lombardi Trophy, emblematic of the Birds’ first Super Bowl championship. By Tim KellyIt was a parade, all right.It was a parade of civic pride, a parade of vindication. It was a parade that banished the word “never” and replaced it with the phrase “never again will we have to hear about our empty trophy case.”Mostly though, Thursday’s Eagles “Parade of Champions” was a parade of positive, raw emotion. A parade of joy in its purest form, shared by a million kindred spirits.On its face, the shindig was a celebration of Philadelphia’s 41-33 defeat of the dynastic New England Patriots in Super Bowl LII, arguably the biggest single moment in Philly sports history. But this parade was more than that.  Much more.“This must be what heaven is like,” a Philly paper quoted a parade-goer as saying.Eagles players filmed the fans filming the team as it arrived at the Museum of Art.We don’t know about the afterlife. But if heaven is a confetti-cannoned boulevard of love, shared by black and white, gay and straight, Asian and Hispanic, rich and poor, old and young, police and community, then heaven is a pretty cool place to be.Of course, this particular slice of heaven on earth did not have heavenly roots. It was a parade born of disappointment and frustration, of Richie Kotite and Eddie Kyayat, of Joe Banner and Hoagiegate, of snowballs and Santa.But it also grew on the backbone of a proud football heritage. A franchise dating back to 1933, the Eagles are synonymous with Chuck Bednarik, ol’ Concrete Charlie, the last guy to play fulltime offense and defense. And then there was   Tommy McDonald, a pint-sized wide receiver who didn’t let his size or the fact that his seemingly magnetic hands were missing half a finger stop him from a Hall of Fame career.The Eagles are Buddy Ryan’s “56 Defense” with Reggie White and Jerome Brown, and Randall Cunningham rolling out to run, pass, hurdle a would-be tackler or even to boom a 90 yard punt.The Eagles are the Andy Reid-Donovan McNabb era of near-misses including an excruciating loss to this same opponent, 13 years ago.A rather well-defined Eagles fan finds a better vantage point to watch the Parade of Champions along the Ben Franklin Parkway.They are Brian Dawkins redefining the cornerback position, T.O. holding a press conference while doing sit-ups on his front lawn, and Tim Rossovich firing up the locker room by setting his hair or fire.And since we must take the ugly with the bad and good, we’ve got to mention booing McNabb’s drafting, the Chip Kelly experiment, and the “Joe Must Go” banner plane circling Franklin Field just as coach Kuharich’s career was circling the drain.The fans carried all of that history, if not baggage, for nearly six decades until a team of undrafted, underrated and widely dismissed players, coaches and front office personnel gave Jason Kelce good reason for dropping the F-bomb heard round-the-world. In winning the Super Bowl, the Eagles turned Broad Street into the world’s biggest pressure valve.Make no mistake, for all its historical significance and cleansing effect on the populace, this was one huge party in a city that knows how to throw one. Papal visit? No problem.  Largest-attended and watched NFL Draft in history? Done. Made in America mega-concert? Check.The more athletic fans scrambled atop light poles, trees, statues, even trash trucks, to get a better view of the Eagles Parade of Champions.An Eagles parade would raise the bar set by the Phillies on Halloween, when fans crammed the city to celebrate its first pro championship in any sport since the Sixers took the NBA title in 1983, a 25-year drought.Ever since, envious Eagles fans tried to imagine what a city-wide bash would be like if the Birds would actually capture a Lombardi for the first time.Finally, no imagination was needed. The Eagles parade actually happened, and its reality far exceeded expectations and hopes.Each attendee will rank it differently, but for the writer or this article, the Eagles parade was one of the top events of my life. My daughter Devon, whose birth still ranks as life event number one, attended the Phils parade with me in ’08 when she was a student at Mainland Regional High School.On that crisp October day, Mainland students were told the parade was not an excusable absence. A note home to parents warned that offenders could face detentions and/or suspension. Hearing this, I notified the attendance office that Devon would be released to me for an “appointment.” No mention was made the appointment was with a million Phillies fans.Bud Light lived up to their promise and supplied adult refreshments to bars on the parade route.“Enjoy your appointment,” one of the office workers said when Devon arrived at the office in a Phillies jersey similar to the one I was wearing. Needless to say, we did.On Sunday night, seconds after Tom Brady’s Hail Mary bounced to earth clinching the Birds’ first Super Bowl title, my phone rang. It was Devon, now 24, a college graduate and a working professional in her field.“You know we are going to the parade don’t you?” she asked, rhetorically.“Yes, I believe we are,” I said. We watched the players and the Lombardi head up broad street. We then took the subway and walked to the Art Museum area in time to catch all the speeches.  Along the way we talked and high-fived with similarly ecstatic Eagles fans.Top life event number two is now in the books.In all my years I have never seen so many people so happy all at the same time. And that’s something else to cheer, something bigger than a football championship.Thanks Eagles. That’s what I call a parade.last_img read more

England has proved itself, says coach

first_imgMoscow, July 12: Although England lost the semi-final to Croatia in the FIFA World Cup, “the whole thing is beyond where we thought we might go”, coach Gareth Southgate has said.A superb Kieran Trippier free kick gave England an early lead in their semifinal against Croatia on Wednesday before Ivan Perisic equalised with a 68th minute volley.Mario Mandzukic then secured his team a place in Sunday’s final against France by netting in the 19th minute of extra time.“We’ve come an incredibly long way in a short space of time,” Southgate said after the match.“The whole thing is beyond where we thought we might go. Tonight we weren’t quite there. But the team will be stronger for it.“We want to be a team who are hitting quarter-finals, semi-finals and finals. That’s what we aimed to do in the long-term. We’ve proved to ourselves and our country that is possible.“Now we have a new benchmark, a new level of expectation, a new scenario. But many of these players have come of age on an international stage. I couldn’t be prouder with what they’ve done. For everybody in our party, I wanted them to create memories that are with them forever, for them and for others. If we’ve brought joy back home, which I know we have, then that’s been worthwhile. We should be proud of that.” IANSlast_img read more